Confidence Found

The first four days of my clinicals made me want to run for my life and hide. I am my own worst enemy being extremly hard on myself. However, the last two days have been fantastic. I found the confidence I had lost. I was paired up with a great preceptor who gave me some great advice. She said, "if you ever fake anything - fake confidence". She then taught me and made me do everything despite my hesitations. It was amazing and I had the best time. I spent yesterday working in the E.R. where we were a little slow in the morning, but from 3:00 until 7:00 we ran at full speed. I left the hospital at 7:00 totally exhausted, but with a renewed energy and drive to perserver.

I've spent two years learning from a book, but book work and application are very different. No book can teach you to think fast in a crisis, to anticipate, to have common sense, to remain calm. Those lessons come with experience. Even book knowlege sometimes does not make sense until a learned concept surfaces in a given situation . There are days when I think I can relate to how Helen Keller felt when she finally realized that Annie was trying to teach her that "water" has a name. When a concept is finally made clear to me I get so excited and my passion for this field increases. This is hard - it's uncomfortable, scarey, exciting, energizing, exhausting, fun, funny and very fullfilling. I love it!