A Brand New Chapter

This is what greeted me as I drove into the state of Idaho. It was beautiful.

On August 15Th Billy and I took a leap of faith when we packed up our U-Haul truck and headed for Idaho to start our lives over. The past four years for Billy and I have been in a constant downward spiral and we finally hit bottom when we had to leave our home. Four years ago when we made the decision that I would go back to school we never realized what struggles we would have to endure. So often over the past four years I wondered if my decision to go to school was the right decision since we had nothing but challenges since I started. Billy lost his job, he had two heart attacks, we lost our house, it seemed nothing went right, however, I could not turn back – all I had left was hope that the future would be brighter.

This quote by Marilyn Monroe has great meaning for me, she said,

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. And sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."

Maybe the “better things” are here in Idaho. Maybe if we hadn't had any struggles we would not have moved here. I really feel like this is where I belong. The day I drove over the Nevada Idaho border I thought about how the Mormon pioneers must have felt as they overlooked the Salt Lake Valley and realized they were home. That is the feeling I had – I felt an incredible feeling of peace and confirmation that the decision to come to Idaho was the right decision.

Just after I crossed the border a song I had never heard before came on the radio – a song by Darryl Worley called, “Sounds Like Life To Me” and it was about a man who was feeling distressed about the problems in his life, but his friend’s perspective was this:

(chorus)
Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy

It’s just a common case of everyday reality

Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up

To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy

It sounds like life to me

(chorus)
Sounds like life to me plain old destiny

Yeah the only thing for certain is uncertainty

You gotta hold on tight just enjoy the ride

Get used to all this unpredictability

Sounds like life

I thought it was an appropriate song at an appropriate time giving me a boost of “get up and go”. Ya, crap happens and I’m kind of in a pile of it right now, but all I’m really missing in my life is money – I have everything else that’s important – good health, the blessing of family and the knowledge that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and will never leave me alone. I can always replace money, but I cannot replace the other things.

So for now I will end one chapter of my life and look forward to starting a new one full of hope and adventure.

NO PAIN

Those of you who have ever listened to John Bytheway speak have maybe heard him talk about one of his favorite mottos, "No Pain ................... GOOD"

I love that!

I was wondering last night why have things been so hard for Billy and I the past four years. Are we bad people? Are we not good enough? Why is it that our greatest accomplishments seem to require so much more than we feel we are able to endure. Does everything have to be a lesson or a challenge?

I read an article once written by Mark Chamberlain who writes for Meridian Magazine and he writes;

"Searching the scriptures, we begin to glimpse a loving method behind what might otherwise seem divine madness or cruelty. Perhaps He (Heavenly Father) allows us to suffer these mortal deficiencies as reminders of the necessity of turning to Him. When we frequently feel the press of need, we may find that it presses us to our knees, presses our eyes heavenward"



I know that I have frequently felt the "press of need" for divine help these past four years. My education has not only given me knowledge in the respiratory field, but it has also made me realize that I have not been left to bear the pain and burdens alone. I have had many books, seminars, websites, and CD's to assist me in my education, but I truly believe my greatest resource came from the quiet moments on my knees.

I passed

Yesterday I took my exit exam. It was definitely a "stress test". Not the kind you are thinking of, but definitely a stress test. As I sat waiting for the test to begin my forehead began to sweat, my hands were clammy and I felt my heart palpating in my chest. It might have been wise for me to take the test in the same environment as the man in the illustration below. I'm sure that is how many of my classmates felt. One girl text me before class to say she had butterflies in her stomach - big deal I thought - I have condors flying around my belly.
Despite my anxiety I endured the test and actually passed. I shed tears of relief, gratitude and shear exhaustion and I remembered my favorite quote by Wilma Rudolf, "the reward is not so great without the struggle".

Best of Preparation

I had a teacher once who before each test would say, "best of preparation". He meant that our performance would be determined by how well we prepared.

I could go on and on about how that applies to everything in life both temporally and spiritually, but today I don't have much energy left to be articulate and profound.

This afternoon I take my exit exam and the results will determine whether or not I have prepared myself sufficiently to graduate.

Today will be a challenge, but passing will not be by chance - it will be by preparation.

I believe that I have done my best, and now I draw from my faith believing that the Lord will make up where I lack.

I say to myself and to my fellow classmates,

"Best of Preparation"