Thankful for..........

..............being "dog tired"

because that means I have a job.

I am working six 12 hour shifts this week, so life is back on track. Soon I will once again be living a nomal life.
So I may be dog tired, but it's a good tired, and I am thankful.

Day # ? I'm Thankful For.........

...........a warm place to sleep.

The past few days it has been a bit of a struggle trying to think of the things I am thankful for. I feel I am in the middle of a never ending battle, and sometimes I get so emotionally defeated even posting on my blog is an effort. I get myself out of bed each morning, shower, get dressed, and force myself to muttle through even the simpliest tasks. I search the computer for jobs, maybe go exercise hoping to generate some energy, then return and begin my search again. I've applied almost everywhere in the continental United States, but so far no luck. I NEVER in my life would have imagined I would be in such a situation - homeless, jobless and penniless. This is not only a humiliating situation it is depressing and exhausting.


Today I am thankful I am not on the streets. I have never before been more aware of the homeless. I have never before been so close to being in that situation. There was a story on the news last night about families who are in my similar situation who are living in shelters or on the streets with their children and pets. It was so scarey to watch. That would be me if I were not blessed to have family who provide me with shelter and keep me fed and warm. My parents have given up their two extra rooms to allow Billy and I to stay until we can climb our way out of this situation. We sleep in one room and the other room we use as a closet, store room, piano room, computer room, ironing room and pantry. It's a mess, but my mom cheerfully accepts the chaos because I know she is happy I am here.


So today I am thankful for my mom and John for keeping me off the streets, and supporting me through this stressful and challenging time in my life.

Day #11 I Am Thankful For........

......the first snowfall of the year.

It's 10:30 p.m. and the snow just started falling.

There is something so peaceful about snowfall.

Maybe I'll be able to make a snowman in the morning.

Day #10 I Am Thankful for..................

............... The man my son has become.

I love him.

I am thankful I am able to watch him be a daddy.

I am simply thankful for HIM.

Day #9 I Am Thankful for..............

.........all the men and women who have served, or who are currently serving this great country.

Because of their sacrifice I am able to enjoy the many freedoms this country offers.

I'm thankful I was blessed to be born in the United States.

I am thankful to be an American.

Day #8 Thankful for.........

...............MODERN TECHNOLOGY!

Today I started my laundry and midway through the cycle I noticed water all over the kitchen floor. The pump on the washing machine had leaked water all over the laundry room and kitchen floor.

It's amazing how inconvenienced we are when just one appliance is not available for use. We are so blessed to live in an era that provides so many conveniences. I can't imagine doing laundry for an entire family with a washboard and tub. Yuck!

So today I am thankful for the many conveniences that make my life easy.

Day #7 Thankful for........

...............HAIR COLOR IN A BOX.

If every gray hair tells a story then my head holds an entire library. Seriously I was noticing today my roots need some serious attention. Even though I am thankful for the stories that accompany each gray hair, I just don't think it's necessary that they be told over and over again. So today I am thankful that Thursday I will be able to quiet the stories for another 6-8 weeks.

:0)

Day #6 Thankful for.........

A nice soft warm bed to crawl into after working a twelve hour shift at the hospital.

Day #5 Thankful for This Boy and His Dog

I am thankful for this sweet boy who has been a part of my life for 29 years.

I ran across this picture today and my heart felt an ache for him, and the laughter he brings to my life. Josh is such a good person who blesses the lives of all those who know him. I am definitely thankful to be his mother.

Day #4 Thankful for Tomorrow

Today has been a hard day. Despite being aware of so many things to be thankful for, today I am feeling the weight of my circumstance. I feel sad, beaten up and defeated. I've become withdrawn, and lost from the living.

Today I am thankful for tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a new day

Tomorrow the sun will rise, and maybe, so will my spirits.

Day #3 Thankful for the Beauty of Nature

When I wake up in the morning and look out my bedroom window this is the tree I see. It looks similar to the many trees I see as I walk along the Greenbelt near where I live. Tonight as I walked alone I was very conscious of how different my world is now that I no longer live in the southwest.

The path follows a large stream that is home to a variety of animal life. There are big fat ducks that follow along vocally pleading for a few crumbs of bread. Tonight there were a number of squirrels scampering along the path and running up and down the fences. Towards the end of the path is a large pasteur that is home to some young cows, goats, and sheep. I love the cows the best - they are tame, and they come to the fence when I call them. They let me scratch their heads, and they stretch out their long sticky tongue to check if I have a treat for them.

The entire scene is beautiful.

I feel such a peace when I am there.

I love nature.

I am thankful that God made this world so beautiful for us.

Day #2 - I'm Thankful for Baseball

Tonight the New York Yankees are playing the Philadelphia Phillies in the sixth game of the World Series.

I love baseball.

I am thankful for baseball.

When my boys were little baseball was what we did. We pretty much lived baseball.

Josh started playing baseball for the Boy's and Girls club when he was four years old, so little league, high school baseball, and college baseball were my life until two years ago when Jesse graduated from BYU.

Billy spent his life devoted to the boys teaching them baseball. He coached their teams, he practiced with them for hours and hours. I loved watching him coach.

I loved what baseball gave my family - memories.

I remember the first time we went to Yankee Stadium for a baseball game. Josh was so excited he said, "I can't believe I'm at Yankee Stadium. I have goosebumps".

I remember Jesse pitching a game at BYU the night before he got married, and that night reflecting back to the very first game he ever played.

Maybe being thankful for the sport of baseball is silly, but it was what I did with my boys. It was what we did together as a family. They were the players on the field.

I was their greatest fan.

-

Day #1 GIVING THANKS

Miss Abby




Miss Savannah

I love this picture. They love each other so much.

Miss Savannah

Miss Abby

Since November is the month of Thanksgiving, I will each day, for the remainder of this month share one thing in my life for which I give thanks. This Thanksgiving I have less than I have ever had, but much much more to be grateful for.

Today I spoke on the phone to my grand daughter, Abby and as I heard her sweet, two year old voice say, "Hi MaMa, doin'?" my heart wanted to melt. I am so thankful for the blessing of being a grandma.

After my boys were grown I always thought how much I wanted a "do over". Not because I wanted to correct mistakes, but because mothering was so much fun that I wanted to "do it over". With grandchildren I get the opportunity to mother in a different way - I get lots of fun without any of the responsibility. It's the perfect "do over".

NEEDS vs. WANTS

A couple weeks ago in relief society I was assigned to read a quote that mentioned something about being blessed with the things we want. The subject of my "wants" and my "needs" have been on my mind lately. Since being thrust into my current situation I have done some reevaluating and prioritizing of things that are important in life. I have had to distinguish between my wants and my needs. A few years ago they were two totally separate things. Today they are the same.

There was a time when I wanted a new granite counter-top in the kitchen of my home. Today I need a home. I remember wanting a big pantry that would hold my food in an orderly fashion. Today I need food. I liked having a nice new car to drive, but now I need gas to put in the car.

I have developed a whole new perspective to what I really need in life. Yes, it’s fun to dream and want nice things, but when we are thrust into a survival mode our wants are no longer frivolous items that we can live without – our wants become what we need.

Today I am living my greatest fear – poverty and homelessness. I thought it would be harder for me to live without money. I loved to shop. I loved to dress nice and fix up my home. I am surprised that I do not mourn the loss of that activity. I don’t even envy people I see walking out of stores with bags of purchased items. The activity I once loved I now fear. That fear has become the motivating factor that keeps me aware of what is really necessary in life. Maybe the burden of my circumstance have caused me to lose the spark inside of me, but if I ever climb out of this pit I have fallen into I will never allow this to happen to me again.

What I want has changed.

What I need has changed.

I have changed.

Fall in Idaho

Billy and I went to Pocatello for a couple days to visit Jesse, Stephanie and the twins. That we had a great time goes without saying. We always love to visit them, and the girls get more fun with each visit. They are two years old now with a very full vocabulary so they keep us laughing.


Abby playing with Grandma before bedtime. She looks tired doesn't she. :0)

This visit we carved a pumpkin, went for a walk to the park, danced, sang songs, colored, cuddled, tickled, wrestled, read, laughed, and took a million pictures. I love being a mother, a mother-in-law, and a grandma..............

Oh, and a dork!!

Look at that face - this little girl loves life!!!

And sweet Savannah - she melts my heart!!

Walking to the park.

I think they went down the slide a MILLION times and each time they loved like the first.

Savannah playing with Grandma before bedtime.

Some beautiful fall colors we enjoyed. This is my first time experiencing the real fall colors. It is a beautiful site with vibrant colors.

I love it here!!!

Treasure

Today when President Uchtdorf said, “What we love determines what we seek” reminded me of something I heard once during a sacrament meeting. The speaker said, "You find what you look for". I was so intrigued by that comment I have spent much time reflecting upon its meaning. It is such a simple statement, but I love its implication. So I ask myself, "What do I look for as I go throughout my day?" Do I look for the goodness in others? Do I look at the blessings I have been given or do I look for what I do not have? Do I look to uplift or to tear down? Do I look for happiness or do I look for misery? Do I look to my Heavenly Father for guidance when I am confronted with challenges I feel I cannot bear? Or do I look for reasons to place blame and question, "why me". Do I look to live the commandments or do I look for excuses and reasons to justify my transgressions?

We are all looking for something as we journey through this life. Maybe life is like a treasure hunt and we are looking for the ultimate prize. The problem is that it is easy to become misguided in our direction for that prize. As daily life distracts us we are detoured from our path, but if we keep looking we are able to find little treasures along the way that redirect us back in the right direction. These little treasures can be prayer, scripture reading, a good friend, the temple, or a quiet moment of solitude. I think of the scripture in Mark 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” As I go throughout my day I hope I look to love Heavenly Father and seek for the treasures that He has blessed me with, and that will bring me closer to Him.

Take A Walk With Me

Welcome to Nampa! This is where I live.

Billy and I have gone on some long walks exploring our new little town. Last night I took some pictures along the way and thought I would share them. We began our walk on the Greenbelt. It is such a peaceful path that boarders a rushing stream that is home for many ducks that walk along with us hoping for some hand outs of bread. They are so fun.
We came to this giant field of sugar beets. The actual beet is the size of a football. I don't know when they harvest them, but there is a sugar beet factory in Nampa and often you can smell the processing of the beets. I'm not sure how I feel about that smell yet.

Just a little bit past the field was this barn - I thought it was such a beautiful setting.

Then just down the road was some random garden. There was a housing track that wasn't fully developed so someone decided to plant this huge garden on the lot. It was so cool. They had pumpkins, cantelope, gynormous sunflower seed plants, squash, beans and more.

We didn't see these guys on our walk, but I had to post their picture. These guys are the parking lot greeters at Walmart. They are always there waiting to say, "Welcome to Walmart".

More Walmart greeters.

This place is great!!!

Faith

It’s funny how little “pick me ups” seem to slip into our lives at just the right time. Today five little words had a very big impact on my attitude. “Have faith during our trials” The past few days I have needed a “pick me up” in the worst way. Everything I do these days seems to take so much energy, and I fight against the adversary as I feel him pulling me in a direction I do not want to go.

When I moved to Idaho I was filled with exuberance for the challenge ahead. I imagine it might have been similar to the way the pioneers felt as they headed west. Excited for the journey, and faced with new experiences they proceeded with faith. I felt like that when we packed up our proverbial handcart (UHaul) and headed to Idaho to totally start over.
I guess in the back of my mind I thought MY journey would be short and easy. We would get to Idaho, Billy would get a job, I’d get a job, we would get a house and life would carry on as usual. I had sort of a fairy tale built up in my mind as if at the border someone would be standing there waiting with a great job and directions to my new home. Well, that’s not exactly how it is happening. Instead there has been no job, no house, and we find ourselves in the very unfamiliar territory of true poverty. I realized it’s easy to have faith at the beginning of the journey – feeling energized and determined I did not anticipate a rough road. I think I thought I was leaving the rough road behind me.
I have often asked myself, “What am I supposed to be learning through all this”? I have realized that it’s easier to have faith when things are going well – the true test is whether or not I have faith during my trials. The saying, “when life gives you lemons – make lemonade” sends a real message. It’s easy to be happy and grateful when life has no complications, and when we get what we want.
I think rather than be discouraged I just need to create the energy needed to push on. Push on with faith through this rough spot in my life. Push on with determination and gratitude for the challenges that enable me to grow and become a better person. It is during the difficult times that we fall to our knees to gain the strength we need.


Five words I will hold on to…… have faith during our trials.

I will!

My New Dog - Someday!!!

I can't wait to get a dog. I'm a dog person. I'm an animal person and being without one just doesn't feel natural. Animals are comforters and unconditional friends - I have always had a dog - until now.

I found the dog I want. The picture above is of a Goldendoodle that I met at the Boise Farmers Market last week and I am in love. It is a cross between a standard poodle and a golden retriever so you get the best of both breeds. A huge PLUS is that they don't shed. I love this dog and I can't wait until I have one of my own.
Who wouldn't love that face?

Walk Around Boise

This weekend we went into Boise to walk around the Farmer's Market. We also walked around two parks - Julia Davis Park and Ann Morrison Park. The settings are beautiful and they both border the Boise River.

Isn't this so cool? It looks like there is a lizard sitting on top of this hill.