Balm Of My Soul

Abby and Savannah - My Little Snow Princesses

Christmas Day 2008

Grandma and Papa on Christmas Day

Josh and Buster

I love these people. This is my family, and they are my greatest blessings. As I look at each of them I can see their unique qualities, and I appreciate how those qualities enhance and bless my life. When my life is chaotic and stressful these are the people who are the balm of my soul. These are the people who make me feel safe, accepted and loved despite all my inadequacies. These are the people I would rather be with than anybody else.

Billy and I were lucky this year being able to spend Christmas at my mom's house with Josh, Jesse, Stephanie and the girls. We had a great time, and there is something so comforting about being at "mom's" house no matter what age we are. Abby and Savannah kept us busy and laughing the whole time - Christmas is so much more fun when little ones are around. It was fun to see them open their gifts - little pieces of paper at a time.

We are back home now and have re-entered normal life. The escape with family was just what I needed. As 2008 comes to a close I am eager for what 2009 will bring.

Christmas Angels

This is Savannah - one of my Christmas angels.

This is Abby my other Christmas angel. These two little angels were my gift for Christmas. Look at those sweet little faces - sweet sweet sweet!

Abby's ready to go. It was cold outside - a snowy, windy, wintery day. We headed to Costco for some last minute shopping for Christmas dinner. Costco has the best pies.

Uncle Josh and Abby playing. I don't know which one was having more fun. Josh loves these girls.

I'm perfectly content to sit with my two Christmas angels. Merry Christmas to me. :0)

Christmas In Idaho

Billy and I left last Saturday morning for Idaho. Josh and his girlfriend, Nicole, followed us. It was a long 11 hour drive, but it was fun. It was snowing when we got to Wells, Nevada and it was the coldest weather I've ever felt. We stopped for a drink, and when I got out of the car I lost my breath. The wind was blowing a bazillion millions an hour and it was a painful cold. When we got to Boise the snow starting falling hard - it was beautiful. It felt good to be at my mom's house.

Monday morning we headed out to breakfast, and to do a little Christmas shopping. Billy shoveled the driveway for us.

This is Clyde the Camel. Isn't he cute? He had a part in the live nativity at my mom's church. This camel is famous and the sweetest creature ever.

This is another very sweet creature - John, my step-dad, or Papa to all the kids in our family. He also had a part in the nativity - he was a wiseman

Monday morning all of us at breakfast. We're having a blast. Jesse and Stephanie, and the twins arrived today, so we are all together. It's a houseful, and I love it. Babies are sleeping now, so more pictures tomorrow.

Winter Wonderland (In the DESERT?)

This is what my street looked like when I got home tonight. I spent the day at Panera Bread studying and watching the snow fall. Billy finally called me and told me to get home because the roads were getting bad. He wasn't kidding. People in Vegas are not used to weather like this - our weather people on the news usually are recorded robots that say, "today will be sunny and clear". But not today. It was the first time I ever had to scrape the windows on my car. The snow came down hard and fast. It was exciting until l I started to drive on the freeway. People were fish tailing and swirving all over the place. I have to admit I was a little nervous.

This is Billy shoveling the driveway for me. That's something he's never had to do for me before. He's so good.

There was so much snow that my Sumac trees were weighted down - don't know if they will recover.

This was fun to have a little different weather - especially around Christmas time.

Thanksgiving Pictures

I am a little late adding our Thanksgiving pictures, but better late than never. These two little girls are the sweetest most loving little people ever. I love them so much.

Here is proof of their loving demeanor - Abby will hold on and love forever. Being a GMA is the best thing ever.

Give these girls a cell phone or let them play with the computer keys and they are in Heaven.

GPA and Abby plaing with the colorful boat.

GPA and Savannah.

Next Saturday we will all be together again in Boise, Idaho for Christmas. We will all be together for an entire week. (Sorry mom) It will be a houseful, but I can't wait. I love the chaos of family - all the laughter, the mess, the cooking - it's just fun. Of course the mess will be at my mom's house so it'll be no problem for me. :0) I can't wait.

Christmas Time

As a child I wished for Christmas
For the reasons we all see
The lights, the music, Santa Claus,
For the presents beneath the tree.

Christmas Eve was special then
Anticipation filled the air
Eggnog, church and then to bed
For Santa would soon be here.

But now I’m grown and even though
Those things I still enjoy
Christmas time means more to be now
It’s the birth of a baby boy.

It is a season of reverence
A peaceful time to reflect
On the birth and life of our Savior
And the sacrifice that meant his death.

So on Christmas Eve as you stand and gaze
At the lights as they sparkle and shine
Look up at the star on the top of your tree
And remember the Lord Jesus Christ.

rj -2008

Music at Sunrise

I woke up early one morning this fall to a cool, partly cloudy, rainy day. It was a welcome reprieve from the extreme heat we had been experiencing. I sat out on the patio to enjoy the cooler weather and just as the sun was peaking up over the mountain the clouds broke and these were my thoughts:

There is music that comes with a sunrise
A symphony of celestial sounds.
Nature’s choir with reverence rejoices
At the debut of another day’s dawn.

The song not only sweet to the ear,
The vision exquisite to view.
The sky as His canvas the Artist creates
A masterpiece of heavenly hue.



I am thankful for the glimpses of heaven we are blessed to enjoy each day.

Pray For Buster

This is Buster. He is not only our pet, but he is a part of our family. He is the best dog in the whole world, and we love him so much. He hasn't been acting very well for the past few days so this morning he went to the doctor. It wasn't good news - he is very sick, and we might lose him. We will know in 24 hours what will happen. If we lose this good dog I will lose a piece of my heart, and my good friend. So sweet Buster will be in my prayers today, and hopefully the Lord will allow him to remain with us.

We love you Buster.

I am Thankful For..........

Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow. so I have been thinking about my blessings and what I am truly thankful for in my life. I could never begin to list everything I am thankful for, but I would like to mention some of the things that are near and tender to my heart.

First of all I am thankful for my sweet husband who has a special place in Heaven for putting up with me, and all my baggage for the past 21 years. He raised my boys, and became the best thing in our lives. We are not only husband and wife, but we are best friends. He is the calm in my storm.

I am thankful for the two most treasured gifts given to me by Heavenly Father – my two sons. I am thankful for the memory of their childhood. I am thankful for Josh’s kind, compassionate, generous heart. I am thankful for his loyalty and his love for his family. I am thankful for the laughter he brings me every day. He has the gift of humor that keeps the laughter in our home. I am thankful he is my friend.

I have always been thankful for Jesse’s calm, quiet demeanor, and for his sweetness. He has a lot of Billy’s qualities – a calm in a storm. I am thankful for the memories I have of the million Scrabble games he played with me, for the baseball games where I was his biggest fan. I am thankful for his character, and the conviction he has to his values. I am thankful he is my friend.

I am thankful for my daughter-in-law Stephanie. I am thankful for the love she has for my son. I am thankful she has become a part of our family, and I am thankful she, also, is my friend.

I am thankful for two sweet twin grand girls who are a gift from Heaven. I love them so much, and am thankful to finally be a grandma.

I am thankful for my mom – for the one person I can always call and never worry if I am bothering her. I am thankful she married John who has been one of the biggest blessing we all have ever been given. I am thankful that I know there is one place I can go to feel safe – Mom and John’s house – no matter where that may be. (I do miss the old couch though)

I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful that I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, and that He is aware of me and my challenges. I am thankful that this faith surrounds me with people who are instruments in the hands of God, and that no matter what I always have a friend to turn to in time of need. I am thankful that this faith has helped charter my course in life by providing me with good values and morals to live by.

This is only a part of my “thankful for” list, but it is the most important part.
I am very blessed.

Garage Sale Day / First Day of Freedom

Goofing Around At The Garage Sale

Today was my first day of my one week vacation from school. Yesterday ended my third semester. I only have two more and I'm done. The end is near, so to speak. Anyway, I have been planning this garage sale for a long time now, and was very eager to get it done. I have decided to live lighter and get rid of all the unused items I have collected over the years. I had been accumulating crap to sell for over a month now, and my living room was piling high. For those of you who really know me living in a messy chaotic house might just push me into insanity, so I was ready to get back to normal. Last night was the ultimate challenge for me. I got home from school which ended a week of intense cramming for finals to find two days of dishes in the sink, Josh and Nicole watching a movie sitting in between piles of clean laundry strewn all over the couches, my garage sale stuff filing my living room, my school books all over the kitchen table, the dog running all over begging someone to play with him - oh it just wasn't good.

I started to sort all the garage sale items. I had purchased prestamped stickers with various prices on them so that would make the pricing job go quicker and easier. It still took forever. I finally got to a point where I was about to go nuts so I stopped the garage sale pricing and attacked the house - then I could concentrate and relax with some sense of order around me. All the while I worked around Josh and Nicole who were into their movie and oblivious to my insanity.

I ended up in the garage sorting through boxes for more stuff to sell. I finally got everything done about 11:00 pm and went to bed. I was up at 5:00 a.m. in order to get everything set up outside. The people started coming at 6:00 a.m. My sister-in-law, Karen, and her friend, Lisa came with a car full of their own crap. My front yard was filled and by 11:30 a.m. there was barely anything left. People will buy anything. It was great. We had a blast meeting so many people and making a little bit of money too. I don't think I will do it again anytime soon, but I did have a good time. I loved being outside talking to people without one worry about studying for some stupid test. Ahhhh it was great!

Getting Older

Today after school I opened up my email to the following messages.

Luminous white teeth
Have wrinkles?
Weight Loss Pills
Medical Hair Restoration
Prescription Aide

I am totally serious – these were the subjects of the five emails I received today. Why do I get messages like that? There was a theme in these messages, and the only thing missing was the real estate guide for assisted living locations and the “Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” necklace.
Seriously, I KNOW I AM 50! I do not need a daily reminder from the advertisers in cyber world. Yes, I have the beginnings of wrinkles but I don’t need someone to ask me, “Got Wrinkles”. I also do not need someone to email me to remind me that I need to work a little harder to keep extra pounds off.
I happen to love my age. I’m excited to live in an age where getting older is more of a liberating time in our lives. I found some sayings about old age that I really liked. I’ve listed them below.

I am an old man, but in many senses a very young man. And this is what I want you to be, young, young all your life. -- Pablo Casals (1876 - 1973)

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. -- Benjamin Franklin

Aging is not "lost youth" but a new stage of opportunity and strength. -- Betty Friedan

Old age is not a disease - it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all kinds of vicissitudes and disappointments, trials and illnesses. -- Maggie Kuhn

These are two of my favorites

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." -- Sophia Loren quotes (Italian film Actress, b.1934)

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. -- Douglas MacArthur

The one I really like I can’t remember where I heard it, but it was said by an old time baseball player. He said, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”

If I answered that question I’d be in my early thirties or even in my twenties, but I’m glad that I’m fifty. I’m glad to be right where I am.

Roads We Follow

Last weekend I spent engaged in a different kind of studying. I went to the Salt Lake City area and spent some time being taught by a friend a little bit about myself. Her lesson was to help me develop a more positive way of thinking with regards to my self-worth. Her emphasis was on changing the direction of my thoughts from a negative direction to a more positive direction. After my visit I had a long drive home with plenty of time to think about what I had learned. I realized that the directions we choose in our lives will determine our destinations. If I travel down a road where I think negatively about myself then my destination will inevitably be a place where I feel no self-worth or value. That’s really not a road I want to travel, but the path is easily followed because the road is familiar. Now granted, changing mental direction is much easier said than done, but I am hoping with some training, and practice I will be able to create a new road map and travel down a different path.
While I drove I spent some time reviewing the road map of my life, and I became very aware that many of my destinations were a result of bad directions. Maybe the words directions and choices are interchangeable, but regardless of which word I use the result is always a destination.
Most maps show the direction or the road one must follow to arrive at a predetermined destination. When I prepared for my trip to Salt Lake I used map quest to give me specific directions so I would not get lost. It was a simple entry into my computer listing my beginning point and my ending point.
Throughout my life I often chartered my own course, but I wonder if I would have detoured around many of my challenges if I would have heeded more to the spiritual GPS offered to us through scripture and prayer. In an article in the Ensign, Elder Richard G. Scott wrote, “You can ponder and let the Lord establish the direction of your life”. I truly believe that we can find the right direction if we search the scriptures and pray for guidance from the Lord. The road may be rough sometimes, but I know if we continue to follow His directions we will not get lost.

The Glad Game

Sometimes I find myself focusing on the hard part of life, and forgetting that there are so many easy, enjoyable things that bring joy. That was the case this weekend as I felt the weight of all my responsibilities bearing down on me. I feared and worried about the future, which appeared incredibly grim.
This morning I woke up with a renewed feeling of hope, and I suddenly remembered my favorite game. The “Glad Game” – how could I forget? I even have it on my license plates to help me remember. I love this game, and it comes from my favorite Disney movie, Pollyanna. I love the little girl’s bright, positive attitude, and how in any given situation she can always find something to be glad about.
The Glad Game is easy to play, you can play alone or with as many players as you like. The only rule is to make a list of all your blessings or the things you are aware of that make your life happy. We all can make a list. I actually have a “Gratitude Book” that I write in several times a week to record the things I’m grateful for. It’s fun and it doesn’t have to be anything huge. One day I recorded, “Today I am grateful for school”. (I must have been mentally ill that day) :0)
On July 27, 2008 I recorded, “I am so grateful to be sitting on the edge of a body of water with my fishing pole and my family next to me. I am at CJ Strike in Idaho with my mom and John, Billy, and my niece, Gracie. It is a quiet peaceful morning, cool weather, birds are chirping, but the fish aren’t biting. I don’t care though – it’s just nice to be here.”
I read something online, I don’t know the author, but this is the quote, “Positive thinking is a muscle that atrophies. The Glad Game is a mental exercise to bulk up the good attitude and spend some relaxing time thinking positive thoughts. It gives a good calming energy.”
So today I will lighten my spirits a little and play the Glad Game. It is a great game. Everybody wins!!

My Day With Gracie

I spent Monday in Rexburg, Idaho with my niece, Gracie. She is attending BYU Idaho, so she took me on a tour around campus. Our first stop was the bookstore where I, of course, had to buy a couple souveniers. We then walked around campus going through a couple of her favorite buidings, and the gardens.

Our next stop was the new Rexburg Temple. It was beautiful standing high on the hill over looking the town of Rexburg. Gracie said she especially loves it at night because it is all light up and looks as if it is floating in the air.

We then went to lunch at a pizza place called, Craigos. We order the best Pizza Bombs EVER.

After lunch we walked around Main St looking in a couple shops. That took about 10 minutes. :o)

We concluded our day in Idaho Falls walking the grounds of the Idaho Falls Temple. The grounds were beautiful. I even got this sweet little critter below to pose for me. We drove by the falls, and as you can sort of tell from the photo above there were a million geese. I thought it was interesting how they were all standing single file on the top of the falls. It was more impressive in person. We left the temple and Gracie took me to the airport. It was a great day. It was a great weekend.

I spent my weekend in Pocatello with Jesse's and Stephanie and the twins, Abby and Savannah. We took them to a park so they could swing and run in the leaves. Fall is such a great time of year. It's a welcomed relief from the heat of summer, and being from Las Vegas where the weather is still warm I really enjoyed the crisp feeling of fall. I think it was unseasonably warm for Poctello - I brought long sleeved shirts expecting cold cold cold weather, but ended up borrowing t-shirts because it was so nice out. However, it could be that I'm at an age where I'm having my own private summer - no matter what season of the year it is. :0) I head for home tomorrow after a quick trip up to Rexburg to visit my niece, Gracie, who is attending BYU Idaho.

Abby being tossed in the air and loving it. If only you could here her laugh.

Savannah enjoying her flight also. I will add some more pictures when I get home. It will be hard to leave the weather, the trees, the smell of the fall air, and my baby grand girls.

Studied and Tested Out

I have had three tests in the last two days. One test on Monday, and two today. My brain is saturated with information on patient assessment, drug overdose, poisoning, bug bites, snake bites, and how that all relates to respiratory. I have been studying until I go to bed then waking up to start it all over again. I get out of bed, put my glasses on, wait for my eyes to focus and start reading. This morning I took a blanket and sat outside on the patio just to feel alive. I felt the cool breeze blowing on me, and I thought to myself how much I miss "life". I only have two semesters to go - I'll be done in August. I can't wait. Until then you can find me with my face in a book.
I'm cheating this weekend though. I'm going to Pocatello to see my grand girls. I won't be totally free - I'll be taking my school books, and laptop. I have a final on Tuesday.

Tragedy On The Golf Course

Yesterday was Billy's birthday, and he wanted to play 18 holes of golf. We went to Desert Willows golf course in Henderson. It was going to be my first time actually playing a real game, so I was a little apprehensive. I've spent the last couple months just practicing driving the ball, but have been afraid to play a game where people can see how terrible I am.
Well it turned out not to be too bad. I loved it, but the day started out with a little bit of tragedy. I decided before we would tee off I would hit a few practice balls at the driving range to warm up. Well, I hit the ball at the same time a bunny was reaching up to get some leaves off a bush, and yep you guessed it - I hit the bunny and it flipped in the air and died. I killed it. Dead.

This was probably the bunnies family looking for it.
This was probably the dad. He would not move for us to pass. Finally he slowly walked away circling around us. Billy asked me if Jack Rabbits attack.
The rest of the day was a blast. I did pretty ok - even parred a couple holes. I'm terrible, but most people are, and who cares, it was so much fun. I think I could play golf every day. The only other tragedy of the day was my score.

Beautiful Inside

Last week while driving to my golf lesson I noticed a house on my street that had a For Sale sign in the front yard. Below the main sign hung a smaller sign that said, “Beautiful Inside.” The outside of the house was nice. It was clean and neat, but there was nothing so striking that it would draw me to that house more than any other house. However, the sign hanging below indicated there was more to that house than just what I could see on the outside. There was more on the inside that I needed to see, more that would appeal to me, and more that would make me love this house.
Each of Heavenly Father’s children has a different exterior. We come in various colors, shapes and sizes. Some of us may need a little grooming and others are meticulously manicured. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all wore a sign that would entice others to look beyond our exterior and see the beauty inside? There is more to us individually than what is seen on the outside. There is more that is appealing and more to make others love us.
Our Heavenly Father looks at each of us and sees our inner beauty. In 1 Samuel 16:7 it says, “But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature;………. for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart”.
I so appreciated Pamela Hansens words at the recent TOFW on Saturday. She talked about inner beauty and she asked, “Do you see the biological masterpiece that you are?” I loved that comment. Just as no masterpiece is the same, we too are different and each of us offers a unique beauty all our own.

Anyone for BBQ Snake?

Josh's rattlesnake

Josh called me this evening to tell me he was bringing home dinner. My first reaction was, "how nice of him". I should have know better. He's a nut. He was at the Henderson Corrals and a rattlesnake was slithering across the corral. He, of course, had to play Jeff Corwin and catch it. I guess the guys who were there all yelled, "what are you doing?" and Josh replied, "I've watched Animal Planet - I know what to do". So he placed a pipe behind the snakes head, grabbed it with his hand and cut its head off. Seriously, who does stuff like that?

When he got home he had already skinned and gutted the stupid thing. So he put it in a Ziploc baggy, stuck it in the freezer, and is planning on BBQing it this weekend. I'm going to Sweet Tomatoes that night.

Time Out For Women Seminar

This is a picture I will always treasure. This is me with, Sheri Dew, a women I have always admired and wanted to emulate. She is as amazing as I imagined, and so real and caring. I have read all her books, listened to her tapes, and her words have strengthened and inspired me. I was able to talk to her a little bit on Friday at the Time Out For Women Seminar. It was such a good time, and the presenters were great. I think everyone in attendance left feeling uplifted and enlightened. It was a good time.

Abby and Savannah Turn One Year Old

Sweet Savannah
Animated Abby
Two perfect little girls

Tub hair - we all do it to our kids.
Are they ever going to get teeth?
Daddy recliner - I love how here little feet are crossed.
Funny Abby